The age difference between you was not sufficiently significant. Children explore their bodies during childhood including the sexual parts. Sexual play often occurs among same-age friends, siblings, cousins, etc. This is not about homosexual tendencies — this is about curiosity.
As I mention in my current post Our Son Sexually Abused Our Daughters , it is important as part of the sexual education of our children to lovingly teach them that touching the genitals of others or having someone touch your genitals is not appropriate, even among friends, cousins, siblings, etc. As far as your ongoing issues of guilt surrounding this happening, I would encourage you to at least entertain the idea of talking to your cousin.
However, it sounds like not going to her about this has not been a beneficial option for your life either. You could do it in person, by phone or even in a letter. I would keep it short and simple.
I have a lot of great memories of our friendship. At the same time, I also have a few memories that concern me. However, I also recognize that I was a few years older than you and maybe that played a part in your participating in this type of play with me. I want you to know that I feel badly about this and I hope that it has not caused any type of long-term effects for you. It is also interesting how this part of the process usually offers great relief and healing to the one offended but to the offender as well.
Regardless of how your cousin responds to your reaching out to her, this approach would more than likely offer you peace and comfort in the long run that you did your part.
Open, loving and respectful communication is usually beneficial and can do a lot to heal relationships and even aspects of our individual selves. It would be interesting to see if your feelings of guilt dissipate after talking to your cousin. If not, then you might be facing issues regarding inappropriate guilt or shame on a more general level. Some of this may have to do with an anxiety disorder, low self-esteem, poor coping skills, depression, scrupulosity, OCD, etc.
Regardless of whether or not you decide to talk to your cousin, individual therapy would more than likely be beneficial to help you explore what these feelings are about for you and how you can be more accepting and loving towards yourself. Although anti-anxiety medication can be an incredibly useful tool, it is usually more likely to help if you are addressing issues within a therapy context as well cognitive-behavioral therapy helps one learn how to live with and manage thoughts related to anxiety.
The perpetrators' mean age was All 18 victims with age differences of less than 5 years met one or more of the other abusive criteria. I am wondering if I am very guarded and uncomfortable when it came to my sexuality because my first sexual experiences had to be hidden according to my cousin and so I learned these acts were innately shameful and "bad. That's what makes me write it off as purile and harmless.
Besides, he was my cousin and I trusted him, so he never had to use force. Does that make it consensual? Typically, Age-Appropriate Sexual Behaviors occur between two children who are close in age and regular playmates and is mutual and very child-like.
It's the feeling most of us get when we imagine sex with a sibling, a visceral "yuck. Ironically, says Turner, in families and cultures where brothers and sisters are separated at an early age, the Westermarck effect never gets a chance to set in, thereby increasing the chances that siblings will develop an undesirable attraction later in life.
As an aside, parents shouldn't worry too much if they catch their prepubescent children playing "doctor. But from the data I've seen, and it's really lousy data, it shows that for the most part either the kids were raised apart, or the family is abusive and dysfunctional.
One of the most common scenarios, he says, is a dynamic involving an abusive father and an angry son, who takes out his aggression on his younger sister. We'll notify you here with news about.
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